What If I Can't?(Mustang5jk2 w/ Gerard)

[ღGraceღ]

Angel walked slowly down the hall, mascara and eyeliner still smeared from her early morning cry. She walked to Gerard's room, it was four in the morning, surely he wouldn't be up yet. In her hand was a crumpled piece of paper that read:

If you love me,
Show it,
If you hate me,
I wanna know it,
But I know I don't wanna,
Live in this confusing world no more.
I don't know what we are,
I don't know where to start,
All I know,
Is that your melodies are tearin' me apart.

Signed,
Angel

With a deep sigh, she taped the piece of paper to Gerard's door. Although other guys might read it, they'd all probably know that she was talking about Gerard, at least, thats what she hoped. She knocked on the door and raced to her room, quietly closing the door and falling back onto her bed. She walked to her bathroom and cleaned her face off, no eyeliner or mascara on, she even brushed out her hair and took out her emerald contacts and put on her dorky glasses. She hoped that no one would come in.

[mustang5jk2]

Gerard looked up as someone knocked on the door.Come in, he called, and rolled over. He pulled the covers up over his bare chest and looked towards the door, still unmoving. A quizzical look played upon his face as he stood up and walked towards the door, opening it and looking outside. A piece of paper fluttered to the ground and he picked it up, looking around once more before bringing it into his room.
Click sounded through the room as Gerard turned on the light so he could see what the note said. He lay back on his bed, reading it through several times. Didn't Angel know how he felt about her? He sighed softly, still reading her note over and over.

[ღGraceღ]

She took off her glasses and rubbed her actual-brown-eyes. She had been a fake to Gerard, for one, he didn't knwo that she wore glasses, second, her eyes weren't green, they were a pale brown, she tried so hard to attempt to keep his approval of her. Yes she wrote songs, sang, and played the gutair VERY well. Yes her hair was truely black, and yes she did have some emo counterparts, but it was SO hard. She sighed softly, her breathing rapid, she knew that Gerard would read the note, knock on her door and find out the REAL her, she was nervous. Her legs faced the door and her head faced the window, biting her tounge. She even took out her nose ring and closed her eyes, attempting to return to sleep.

[mustang5jk2]

With a small sigh, Gerard stood up and went to the door. He wouldn't bother putting a shirt on, it wouldn't be the first time she's seen him without one. Exiting his room, he looked down the hall to see if anyone was out. Quiet steps were barely heard as he tip-toed his way over to Angel's room, trying not to awaken anyone else. An outstreched hand knocked lightly at the door and then retracted. Gerard didn't know if she was here or not, hopefully she hadn't run off again.

[ღGraceღ]

She had once again fallen asleep, curled on her side, she half-awoke to say:C'mon in. To the person at the door, who it was, she didn't know, nor cared.

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[mustang5jk2]

At the call allowing him to enter, Gerard tensed a bit. Nevertheless, he entered, although a bit hesitantly. He shut the door behind him and cleared his throat.Hey Angel, he greeted her, a hint of how awkward this was for him in his voice. He had no clue where to start with this. Hopefully, she would.

[ღGraceღ]

She sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes, opening them to reveal brown instead of emerald green.Oh SHIT! She said, quickly turning around, she shook her mane of hair around her shoulders...What-do you want? She said, a bit of fake irritability in her voice.

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[mustang5jk2]

Although he was slightly shocked at the change in eye color, he didn't show it. Instead, Gerard sat down beside her on the bed.I got your note. He began hesitantly. Again, this was bound to be an awkward conversation.

[ღGraceღ]

She rolled her eyes, wasn't it self-explanitory?Soooo....? She said, taunting him as much as she could.

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[mustang5jk2]

Gerard looked at her in slight disbelief.What the he.ll, Angel? You bring me here and then you make fun of me? Get your head straight before you bring me along for the ride. He said, standing up.Until you've got that figured out, I'll be outside.
Although the clock said 4:12 AM, he was going outside. He wouldn't be able to fall asleep now, and he knew it. He quietly exited the house and went down to the weanling pasture, where Black Mariah was. Gerard walked throughout the pasture until he found her, sound asleep. As she slept, he stroked her somewhat downy coat lightly.

[ღGraceღ]

She sighed, she stood up and walked to the door. She looked down as she opened the door. Slowly walking down the stairs, the turned the doorknob. She stood behind Gerard, her eyes full of sadness.I---- She began.

[mustang5jk2]

Gerard looked over at Angel as he heard her voice. He stopped petting Mariah and stepped away from the weanling, moving a few feet away.Yes? he asked, waiting for a reply.

[ღGraceღ]

Why had she written that note in the first place? Beacuse she wanted to get her feelings out, why did she take it out on Gerard? Because...well, she didn' t knwo the answer to that.I...wrote it because...well...I was talking to Lily and she said, so, what's up with you and Gerard? and I didn't answer, so it got me thinking... She finished, sighing, ashamed of herslef.

[mustang5jk2]

Gerard sighed and looked down. She kept on overreacting and thinking too much. He stood up and placed his hands on her shoulders.When will it get through your head, Angel?I love you. Don't you get that?

[ღGraceღ]

She grunted and stepped away from him.No, no you don't Gerard, nobody has and nobody ever will. She said quietly, her head hanging low, brown eyes facing the ground.

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